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  “Prostates respond well to firm, methodical pressure,” Finn says. “Often the base of the prostate massager will have a handle so that you can rock the toy back and forth against the prostate to create that pressure.” For intense, vibration-free prostate stimulation, check out the Aneros MGX prostate stimulator. Toys for the kink-curious “Most beginner kink toys are all about eroticizing erogenous zones that often get ignored, or creating surprising sensations,” Wolfe says. Here’s where to start. Blindfold It’s simple: By taking away one sense (your sight!), your other senses become much more heightened. “Touch becomes that much more electric when you can’t see what’s coming,” Finn says. Make your own blindfold out of a bandana or tie. Or, check out this Sex & Mischief satin blindfold. Feather teaser “Feather teasers can be used to provide a really gentle touch along the body,” Finn says. “They’re especially great after impact play on the now-much-more-sensitive area.”

  Check out: Sex & Mischief feather tickler Unbound Tsk Babeland pleasure feather Handcuffs Like the idea of having to tell your partner exactly what you like, because you can’t show them? Turned on by the concept of being dominated? Give handcuffs a try. “I don’t recommend classic police-style handcuffs, because they’re metal and could potentially cut one of the important veins near your wrist,” Finn says. She recommends something that either has a wider cuff strap or is made out of a flexible material, like: Unbound Cuffies Babeland Heart 2 Heart cuffs Sportsheets adjustable wrist cuffs Note on safety: You should never ever (!) leave someone bound in handcuffs unattended. Sex furniture Sex furniture might sound super, ahem, freaky, but even if you and your partner identify as The Most Basic Couple In The World, sex furniture can be used to make your sex life more pleasurable.

  “Really, sex furniture is just designed to help you and your partner get in more comfortable positions during positions you already love — or want to try but can’t due to physical limitations,” Wolfe says. Pillow and wedge Unlike the pillows you sleep on (which are usually squishy), sex pillows and wedges are made of a stiff (but comfortable!) foam that helps support your body, explains Wolfe. “They’re great for folks who aren’t super flexible, or who have a tough time holding up their body weight,” Wolfe says. Try propping the Dame Pillo under your hips during anal missionary so you and your partner can enjoy eye contact during anal sex — or to increase the chance that your partner hits your G-spot during penetrative play. The Liberator Wedge is a great option if you’re looking for a pillow to make doggy style better. “If the receiving partner leans over the pillow, they won’t sink into the bed,” Wolfe says. Sex swing

  Sure, sex swings can be used by kinky couples. But according to Wolfe, “They’re a great option for any couple that wants to try new positions, angles, or heights.” For example, with the help of a sex swing, “standing” positions that require one partner to support the other’s body weight suddenly become available. What sex swing should you get? Consider these: If you’re short on space: Sportsheets Door Jam Sex Sling If you’ve got a sex dungeon or room: Extreme Restraints Sling and Swing Stand If you don’t have housemates: Trinity Vibes Ultimate Spinning Swing So, what sex toy should you buy? It all comes down to knowing what you like and finding a toy that helps you do it. Or, knowing what you like, and finding a toy that gives you a little extra-extra while you’re doing it! So, before you hand over your credit card, spend some time getting down with your sexy self and learning what you like! Try not to pout: There have been wayyy worse homework assignments than “masturbate.”

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  What is your relationship with self-pleasure? This may be one of the most difficult things to talk about as a person with vulva in Singapore. Our sexual education in schools is limited and we still suffer from what is known as the orgasm gap. For now, let's focus on sex toys for pals with vulvae specifically. How and where do you look for sex toys? How can you get away with doing so without being so embarrassed you might explode? Before we begin, figure out what you like by using nature's toys: your fingers. Touch, stroke, circle or rub your clitoris, try fingering yourself or even rubbing your vulva. Do you prefer internal or external stimulation or both? Do you like stimulating your G-spot? How much thickness is too much? Do you prefer something stiffer? These can inform your purchasing decision. That said, you need to figure out what your budget is as these toys can be quite pricey. This does not mean those that cost less are terrible, they may just come with fewer features such as waterproofing or require batteries instead of being chargeable. MATERIAL OF SEX TOYS Now, let’s talk about the types of sex toys and what makes a cheap or expensive toy. The main difference would be the materials used and the technology behind it. It’s quite similar to buying computer parts in that sense. Unfortunately, the sex toy industry is not regulated, so sometimes you may not even be certain of its purity. Make sure to look at the materials used and keep yourself informed as some of these toys may be made with cheaper, and sometimes dangerous, material.

 The main types of materials used are: Silicone Being squishy (and hence somewhat lifelike) as well as mostly inert, silicone is the most popular choice for sex toys. Look out for “phthalate-free” and “body-safe” in the copy, and either “food-grade,” or “medical-grade” in the ingredients. Theoretically, all silicone should not be porous and stay inert. “Food-grade” is not medically tested, but the idea is that food-grade silicone does not transfer chemicals to food when it’s heated or cooled. The theory is that food-grade silicone will work the same way with the human body, but this is unproven. The safest option, especially if the toy is being inserted, is medical-grade silicone. This is also the most expensive option. This is the material used in breast implants and is regulated by the FDA's Center for Devices and Radiological Health. Medical-grade silicone is the only one that has actually been tested to interact with human bodies.

  Fake silicone Some toys may be listed as silicone, but the ingredient list may say “jelly rubber” and polyvinyl chloride (PVC). These are porous, meaning that bacteria can get inside the toy and make it almost impossible to clean properly. Remember the clear jelly shoes that were trendy a while back? Those were also made of jelly rubber. These tend to be much more affordable, but are not very hygienic and may produce smells or become sticky after some time. Glass or metal (steel) These are inert materials that won't leak chemicals or harbour bacteria (as long as you're washing your toys correctly). Glass or metal toys can be very durable and hygienic, but the rigid material may be a con to some. The qualities of the material also allow for temperature-play exploration. This category of toys would be in the mid-range. If you want something that has some tech in it, i.e. is powered (vibrates or thrusts), silicone will likely be the material that encapsulates the tech. This is why silicone toys can range from $50 to a few hundred. This is then dependent on the technology included in your toy. Premium features could be being packaged in an inconspicuous container (like a lamp or necklace), having an app that allows remote (Bluetooth or long distance) control, or being self-thrusting. Generally, $50-$70 can get you a quality toy that will last.

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  In general, for penetrative toys, the expert advice would be to always put a condom over your toy to ensure safety. This is particularly for fake silicone or food-grade silicone toys (if you’re super concerned!) Condoms also make using sex toys with multiple partners safer. TYPES OF SEX TOYS Besides the material used, sex toys aimed at those with vulvas can be broken down roughly into internal and external stimulators. In general, external stimulation focuses on the clitoris or the labia majora, while internal stimulation focuses on penetration or the G-spot. Some have both too! External stimulators Vacuum suction

 A recent innovation, these toys feature a flickering or sucking sensation that focuses on the clitoris. This is ideal for people who love clitoris stimulation, but not if you get overstimulated easily, or if your clitoris is hyper-sensitive. General external vibrators They may look like an egg or some other innocuous flat item. It’s meant to be used by holding it against your labia majora (or wearing it in your underwear for the lazier of us), for slight stimulation. They can also be vibrators for the clitoris. It applies a more general pressure and may be better for those who dislike extreme focus on the clitoris. Wands Made famous by Sex and the City, the wand-type toy is modelled after the iconic Hitachi wand. Many options are available on the market now, from wired (for very intense vibrations) to rechargeable (wire-free) and waterproof. The wired options may be louder and be uncomfortable to use if you’re afraid of being overheard. This toy is an in-between option where you can exercise control by placing it on the clitoris or a more general area. Some wands also have attachments that allow for internal stimulation as well.

 Internal stimulators Dildos Probably the most well-known type of toy, dildos are made of the most varied material and can come in 'realistic' and more 'fantastical' shapes. Fantastical shapes can be intimidating and are also more expensive. Dildos range in size from 3 inches to 11 inches and colour, from flesh tones to the rainbow. There is also a range of diameters it comes in, so look out for that information if you know you prefer a certain thickness. Dildos may be straightforward, but you can be inventive with them. Some feature a suction cup too! Rabbits Rabbits are touted as the best of both worlds, stimulating both the clitoris, typically having a two-pronged external feature (thus giving it the moniker “rabbit,” although some just feature one prong) as well as a penetrative dildo part. The idea is that moving the dildo will move the external feature against the clitoris as well. Some rabbit toys also vibrate, and some allow individual control of both the rabbit and dildo. This toy may not be suitable if you think your clitoris is spaced a bit farther/closer than the average as the rabbit feature may not touch your clitoris.